As many of my friends know… I am a band geek. I am not afraid to admit, I am proud of it.
Being in Band and all the experiences that it entails, have helped to make me who I am now. So I wanted to share some band stuff….
You know you’re a band geek if….
1. Being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
2. “Armed Guard” means a girl with a pole, not a guy with a gun.
3. You remember sharps and flats more easily than the names of the presidents.
4. You see your section more than your family.
5. Everyone in school wants to kill the other football team… and you want to kill the other band.
6. Reeds taste good.
7. The band room is your other home.
8. When reciting the alphabet you recite A through G and then start back at A.
9. Emptying spit valves don’t gross you out.
10. You have band tan lines... for some this includes neck strap lines.
11. Someone could slap you in the face and you wouldn’t respond, but you will fight to the death over who gets to play the solo in your section.
12. You go to parades and watch to see if lines are straight, horn angles are the same, and everyone is in step.
13. You can strip out of your uniform in less than a minute WITHOUT getting it on the floor in order to use the bathroom.
14. You can carry four different food products at a time and eat them while standing with your instrument on moving bleachers in the rain and not drop any crumbs on your Marching Band uniform.
15. You know how to walk on mud without slipping.
16. You can point out instruments in music from cartoons.
17. Instead of doing the “L=left” thing with your hands, you take one step forward to figure out which is right and which is left.
18. Your feeling sick at school, but you wait to go home until AFTER band.
19. You have never sat in your class section at a pep rally because you have always played for the pep rally.
20. Someone starts clapping and you get nervous. (LMAO!)
21. You go to football games to watch the band.
22. You can measure 5 yards without a ruler- all you need to do is count your steps.
23. You end everything with the word...HUT!
24. Normal people argue about the Vikings vs. the Packers, you argue about brass vs. woodwinds.
25. You’re copying an assignment for another class and you write “Reed pgs 150-267”, and don’t notice it is wrong.
26. You have talked to your plume.
27. You have stood at attention for half an hour.
28. You have held hands with a band member not because you like them but because you’re cold.
29. You start humming a previous show tune and all your friends add in with their respective parts.
30. You go onto the field and wonder why there are football players there.
31. You hate American Pie because if you mention band camp to a non-band member… well you get what I am getting at.
32. You have tried every instrument in the band regardless of who played it last.
33. You have spent more money on reeds than food.
34. Telling someone they blow is a complement.
35. After the band uniform… you will never be threatened by an outfit that has more than 20 steps to get in and out of it for as long as you live.
36. You can walk up to anyone in band and fix any part of their uniform without saying anything other than giving them you instrument and saying, “Hold this.”
37. You get bored in class so you pick random people who aren’t in band and decide what they would play if they were in band based on their personalities.
38. Your idea of a fun Saturday night is a band competition and the bus ride home.
39. Tuning out the trumpet is second nature.
40. You hear a story of some random band idiot and automatically assume it was a drummer.
41. Icy winds, sub freezing temperatures, and rain at football games don’t bother you. Who needs feeling in their toes?
42. It is January and you still have your farmers tan from band camp 7 months ago.
43. You have performed emergency surgery on an instrument. (with and without duck tape)
44. You have ever used cork grease as Chap Stick.
45. Your first criterion for college is that it has a marching band, even though you intend to major in something else.
46. You have ever lost a shoe while marching… and kept marching.
47. You believe that football is just the warm-up for the band.
48. You have ever got in trouble for skipping class to go to the band room to practice.
49. You take it personally when you director tells you that your note is flat.
50. You actually miss the three hour practices, band 5 days a week, and the faster metabolism that went with it.
51. Your section dances at every single drum cadence while in the stands.
52. You don’t question when someone says they are a Boner.
53. If someone says “One-ee and-a two-ee and-a” you get instant mental picture.
54. You have perfected the art of playing with a broken, torn, or ripped reed.
55. When you saw the movie “Drumline” you felt some sort of joy that a movie interprets band as a sport.
56. You constantly pester your band director with new marching show ideas.
57. Your computer desktop picture is a picture of marching band.
58. During silent reading time, you try to persuade your teacher to let you read your music.
59. Your pets run away when you open your instrument case.
60. You seriously think of putting a sign at the middle of the bus, proudly stating, “COLORED SECTION” (of course, to indicate that section is colorguard only)
61. You are ecstatic when you find out you are getting new uniforms next year, but you feel a little sad and nostalgic, too.
62. Your suspenders have so little elastic left in them that you have to double them over and safety-pin them to keep your pants up.
63. You know that the cigarette paper and dollar bills that woodwinds keep in their instrument cases has nothing to do with illegal activities.
64. You complain about people who can’t sing or dance to a beat.
65. You have ever mocked the ROTC guys for being out of step during pre-game.
66. If you have ever seen a 6 ft 4 quads drummer in the guards uniform from a previous year.
67. You quit football for marching band.
68. You have band t-shirts from before you started going to your school.
69. “Once more,” does not in fact mean, once more.
70. If the majority of the band jokes…. Revolve around you.
71. Pickup line “I’m a formata… hold me.
72. You despise Astroturf.
73. Your band directors switch half way through your high school year, and you still keep in touch with your ex band director.
74. You make jokes at the expense of the football game… K.P. made best joke called the “you can’t score” joke C.A.!
75. Your band director had to kick you out of the band room after competition because it was 1:00 AM and he wanted to sleep.
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